I looked at my watch: o3:55. We just got back to our station from a call. It’s my 6th night shift, and I was more than eager to get a little shut eye. I pulled off my boots, and just as my head hit the pillow, the phone rings.
Ughhhhhhh…Just ignore it…the pillow feels so good…
My partner answered the phone as I managed to sit myself up and pulled my boots back on.
Partner: “99Alpha on the air.”
Dispatch: “99Alpha, routine for a 20y/o male on shrooms. Code 5s will meet you on scene.”
Ohhh…shrooms, this could potentially be an interesting call.
So off we went, we met the police outside the apartment and headed in. There we were greeted by the patient’s parents as they pointed towards a room in the corner. We entered, found a police officer there staring at a young man on his bed.
Me: “Hi, what seems to be the problem today?”
Shroom Boy: “I don’t feel well….I feel like I’m going to pass out.”
Me: “Where do you not feel well?”
Shroom Boy: “I don’t know…just everywhere…my head hurts, I’ve been vomiting.”
He smelled of alcohol…
Me: “How much have you had to drink tonight?”
Shroom Boy: “A lot.”
Me: “What’s a lot?”
Shroom Boy: “Just a lot…of hard stuff.”
Me: “Everybody’s ‘a lot’ is different, so how much had you had to drink?”
Shroom Boy: “Two-Six.”
Me: “Tw0-six of what?”
Shroom Boy: “I don’t know….Captain Morgan…”
Hmmm…well he’s awfully lucid…
Me: “Did you do any recreational drugs today?”
I knew he wasn’t going to answer that one with his parents in his room, but I wasn’t really too concerned since his vitals are fine.
Shroom Boy: “No.”
Me: “So did you call us today, or did your parents?”
Shroom Boy: “I did.”
Me: “Why did you call us?”
Shroom Boy: “Cuz I don’t feel good. I have a headache, I feel nauseous, I’ve been vomiting….”
I looked at him.
SERIOUSLY!??!!?!? You called 911 at what…FOUR in the morning because you have a hang over? Have you never heard of a hang over? Or what a hang over feels like?
I wished he could hear my thoughts so he’d know better next time.
Me: “Since we’re here, would you like to go to the hospital with us?”
Shroom Boy: “No….I just feel like passing out.”
And I feel like smacking you across the face.
I reeealllly think that they should incorporate a course in elementary school called: “When is it appropriate to call 911.”