I don’t remember how I got there, my mind is a haze. I find myself staring at the edge of a waterfall, watching the rush of white water roar over the mysterious ledge. I looked around, what am I doing here? Why am I wearing four layers of clothing plus a ski jacket, and mittens along with boots? I notice myself holding a camera in one hand. Was I here to take photos? How high is that waterfall anyways?
How the hell did I know that?
400 meters, it’s 400 meters.
This is such a bizarre situation. Then all of a sudden I knew why I was supposed to be there.
Jump? I came here to jump?
My subconscious was talking to me. It felt strange, but somehow I knew why I ended up there, it was to take the plunge. I looked around, there were people watching from every angle , at the bottom of the waterfall, and on the opposite side of the river.
This is so strange. Why are there so many people here?
Yet my brain couldn’t really comprehend what was going on. I just felt the heat of the sun above me. It was glowing bright yellow. It was getting kind of annoying.
It wouldn’t be so bad to jump. Kind of like jumping off the high diving board as a kid. You just step out, hold your arms to your body and then wait for your feet to hit the water. Once you step off, that one little motion, there’s nothing you can do.
You got it, that’s the point.
My heart started to pound, I could feel myself shake…was it the adrenaline? Am I scared?
Just take that one step, and it’ll be all over, nothing you can do about it and just wait for the end result.
But what is the end result?
Ughhh!! Stupid sun was preventing me from thinking. I could feel a throbbing start in my head. I couldn’t stand the sun anymore, I’m overheating! I started to take my mitts off, then suddenly dizziness hits me. My head was aching so bad I felt like I was going to explode. Sweat was dripping down my face, I remember looking at the sun, that bright big blob of yellow-white.
I hate you! Stupid sun! Go away!
I felt like I was melting, dying… Maybe jumping wouldn’t be so bad, it’ll end the heat.
Whatever the hell is going on?!?! I’m so confused.
That’s when I woke up. I found myself buried under four blankets, I was wearing a fleece sweater, and had thick woolen socks on. I had a pounding headache and was sweaty pools. I tore my sweater off, threw off the blankets, and scrambled out of my socks. And just lay in the bed. Breathing. Head pounding.
I remember now, I was freezing one moment with chills and all those layers felt like it was doing nothing. And now, I’ve started cooking under all the layers. I’ve got some sort of weird viral infection, my lymph nodes were all swollen, I’m aching all over. Somehow being sick and my lack of temperature control made it into my dreams, made me hallucinate about a waterfall. Somehow in my haze I truly believed jumping down a 400m waterfall will be like jumping off a high diving board. Only after I woke up and started cooling down that I realized it’d be anything but jumping off a high diving board. I’d be landing on rocks, even if I miss the rocks, from 400m, it must be like hitting concrete. I’d be breaking both my legs and crushing my spine.
I laughed at myself. What a stupid dream.
I’ve been meaning to write a follow up post on my last post: A Bruise–Part I, but due to my delirious nature at the moment and my inability to think, I will write it another time when my brain has regained its function. For now, I hope you enjoyed this post.